Filed under: Personal
You see this picture here? Thats Angelina Jolie when she was about 15 years old. I’d say that thats about the average age of you girls here on tumblr. Back in her day, she was teased for being ‘ugly’ and having fat lips. For looking like an outcast and having no guys like her cause she isnt pretty enough. She’s pretty here, but in her time, she was among the less attractive. Look at her now. She is one of the most if not THE most beautiful person on earth. She’s stunning. This should be an example to you girls. Just because you dont consider yourself pretty now, you have your whole life ahead of you to blossom into something you’d never imagine. You’re still young. Some people who are pretty now, lose it later. Some people who aren’t as attractive now, get it later. Trust.
I still think she was definitely beautiful when she was 15. She definitely blossomed, though.
She learned how to really make her features work for her. I’m 19 and I’m hoping that it’s not too late for me.
Maybe one day my own beauty will blossom like that.
Filed under: Personal
I may have overeaten a lot this past week and I’ve not exercised at all today
but the snow outside is still beautiful
my binges are a lot more controlled than they used to be
I will get to decorate my house tomorrow
I have absolutely nothing that I am obligated to do
our Christmas lights are on
I am learning Irish
so maybe it will all be O.K. (:
Today didn’t go as well as I had hoped, but I’m optimistic and working to mend things. Because I overate, I’m doing a little extra cardio, but since
a) I’m lazy
b) I’m feeling slightly sick and
c) I too-recently did an intense elliptical work-out
I’m going to stick to a dorm-room one. Unfortunately this means I won’t get to burn as many of my extra calories, but on the bright side it means I get to stay inside and work on some of my essays that I would like to finish before Thanksgiving break.
I’m really excited to get down to a normal weight again. I know it’s probably only feeding the disorder to talk about it, but really, when you gain twenty pounds in two months, you start to look forward to life without them.
Yeah so anyway, the mix this time is all Tiësto since my iPod is absolutely frozen and won’t respond to anything.
10 minutes jumping jacks
10 minutes sit-ups
5 minute work-out video (x2)
None of this was consecutive, of course. That would be hell. :3 I did (and am in the process of doing) two minutes of jumping jacks, an hour-or-so break, one minute of jumping jacks, a forty-five minute break, et cetera. I want to be up all night so I can sleep in really late tomorrow, go to bed early for class, and eat less to compensate (which I understand isn’t good, but I’ve been overeating often enough that I really do feel it’s necessary if I don’t want to gain huge amounts. I’ve been taking one step forward and like three back, so it’s kind of a big deal).
Ho hum. Hopefully I will get these papers done; I really want to enjoy my break.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I want to be a different person so why can’t I be why can’t I be why do i have to be
–me
If I could wake up and be someone completely different in the morning, then I would, I would God-fucking-dammit I would, but I can’t, I can’t just wake up one morning
OK I’M A NEW PERSON, LET’S BE HAPPY AND SKINNY NOW
because that doesn’t fucking work; I’m tied to my (tired, worn, ugly, and fat) body. Personal identity doesn’t come completely from the inside, as much as I could wish it did. It comes from so many things out of my control — from me, from my body, from what I perceive others’ opinions of me to be, from the way I was raised, from what I have learned, from how I have grown up–
But most of all from my fucking brain, it’s trapped me in this miserable hell, I thought I could get out of it but it’s always there, it’s always there, it’s ALWAYS FUCKING THERE
I used to think I could get away from this, that it was just a decision
“Stop burning yourself on the stake, you’re pathetic, live your life dammit”
and it worked, i swear it worked, why isn’t it working now, why am i fat and bloated and bloating, why am i
Everything is dead she said Why did the sun go Where has it gone
Filed under: Uncategorized
why should i have to prove myself to others? personal identity comes from the inside. i can be whoever i want to be
sometimes a lot of times i feel like others are judging me and i constantly try to live up to their expectations as well as my own (which are often set too high) i need to hear compliments to keep my self-esteem but i dont accept them well because i feel like i need to keep living up to them
its hard to be myself when im trying to be for someone/everyone else
Filed under: Personal
-I do not really enjoy non-fiction, at all
-I am not as smart as people think I am
-I am not as stupid as people think I am
-I have no special knack for languages. I have met plenty who are just as good and better than me
-I can write poetically and use grammatical rules to my advantage, but that is the extent of my skill
-I am not always happy
-I am not always depressed and wretched
-I don’t like linguistics as much as I originally thought
-I am lazy and have no direction or real goals
-I like to drive and waste gas, but I also get bored once actually in the car
-Currently I like Harry Potter more than The Lord of the Rings
-I am not good at philosophy
-I care too much about my little brothers. Maybe even more than they care about me
-I like reading and playing video games but don’t like setting aside the time to do them
-I don’t like admitting I have problems and I don’t like asking for help
-I don’t like usually don’t like boring “indie” music
-I think about others’ opinion of me. I haven’t decided whether I care about it or not yet
-I am moody
-I pretend to be happy for others’ benefit even when I’m not happy because it’s easier to naturally be happy when people think of me as a happy person
-I am sensitive and easily irritable
-I am too nice
-I like the ideas of things but not the things themselves
-I don’t have to study for a lot of things to get a good grade
-I do have to study for some things to get a passing grade
-I like to make myself miserable and I’m scared to be happy all the time
-I am very competitive and I am a perfectionist, which works to my disadvantage most of the time because I’m mediocre at everything
These are all misconceptions about me that hopefully I have cleared up
They are subject to change
Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards. When people ask me what really changed my life eight years ago, I tell them that absolutely the most important thing was changing what I demanded of myself. I wrote down all the things I would no longer accept in my life, all the things I would no longer tolerate, and all the things that I aspired to becoming.
– Anthony Robbins
WHAT I WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT
WHAT I WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE
WHAT I ASPIRE TO WILL BECOME
I’m having a bad morning, so I’m going to go outside, take some pictures, eat a fresh salad, breathe deeply, make a pot of Jasmine tea and guarantee myself that everything is going to be O.K.
Filed under: Personal
I think I will drink when I am twenty-one. Not the flagrant “LET’S GET WASTED OUT OF OUR MINDS AND GO CLUBBING” kind of drinking (although I may have a sip or two before engaging in fun, dancing-type activities), but the kind where you light scented candles and set the table with your fancy tableware and enjoy a sip of wine. If I do drink beer, it will only be the best quality, and in the right contexts. Beer and pizza is O.K. I will learn to dissect the subtle flavors of different brands and types. I will be a connoisseur and I will be tasteful and classy. I will not get drunk.
I will probably go clubbing and dancing, but I will not engage in a self-depreciating activities.
I do not drink now because I have absolutely no desire to drink. And maybe I will not have the desire even when I legally can, in which case I will not. The rules of the game are very simple: I do what I want because I want to do it.
